


Bad Day for a Space-Time Anomaly

by orphan_account



Category: A-Team (TV), Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Crossover, Early Work, Gen, Humor, Same actor different characters, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-12
Updated: 2012-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-29 10:23:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/318859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the A-Team and the USS Enterprise cross paths. (With a few surprise "guest stars" along the way...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The A-Team is Coming, The A-Team is Coming

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The following story is written entirely for fun and not for any profit. No attempt is made to supersede or infringe upon the copyrights held by any television or film companies upon which this story is based.
> 
> This story was published originally in the fanzine "Plans Scams & Vans #1" in 1995.

"Just how much longer are we going to be stuck hanging around here, Captain?"

Commander William Riker of the U.S.S. Enterprise was becoming more than a bit testy. For the last seventy-two hours, the Federation starship had been maintaining orbit around a small Class M planet known as Myranji III in a rather depressingly desolate sector of the galaxy. A small federation colony on the planet had requested assistance in investigating some highly unusual electrical storm activity that had been building for several weeks in the planet's atmosphere. A team of scientists from the Enterprise had gone to the planet's surface to study the storm system, which appeared to have remained isolated over an uninhabited region of the planet's major land mass. And while the scientists seemed extremely excited about something they had discovered about the storm, the rest of the crew was growing restless from just hanging around.

"They've already determined that the storm, however large it is, poses no discernible threat to the colonists and is going to dissipate within a few more days. So what's the big holdup?"

"I'm not entirely sure myself, commander," Captain Picard replied, shifting in his command chair on the bridge. "The latest report I received from Dr. Sullivan, one of the scientists heading the expedition, stated that they had found out something about the nature of the storm that is of extreme importance in current astrophysics research. They say they need at least another twenty-four hours to complete their study of the phenomena, whatever it is."

"Wonderful," replied Riker.

"Well, try to contain your vast enthusiasm a while longer, commander. I'm going with Mr. Data and Mr. LaForge to visit our scientists on Myranji III to find out exactly what is going on down there that's so important and to make sure the team's work is still on schedule. You have the bridge, Number One," Picard said as he got up to leave, looking rather anxious to depart himself.

"Gee, I don't know if I can handle the excitement," Riker muttered under his breath once the Captain had left.

* * *

Somewhere in the skies over the Atlantic Ocean, nearly four hundred years in the past, a small passenger plane was heading northbound on its way to Miami. All was quiet onboard the craft, save for the soft snoring coming from the large man slumped across several seats in the back. Lieutenant Templeton Peck was keeping busy with a calculator in one hand and a small note pad in the other. Amy Allen gazed out the window, occasionally dictating notes for her next article into her portable tape recorder. Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith eased back in his seat, pulling out his last cigar and thinking back in satisfaction over the Team's latest successful mission. Meanwhile, up in the cockpit, Captain H.M. Murdock had his walkman playing at full blast, and he was happily singing along with the new calypso tape he picked up on this trip down to the Bahamas.

"So, how's it looking, Face?" Hannibal asked, as the Lieutenant finished scribbling down some numbers and closed his notes.

Face tapped his pencil on the notepad and sighed contentedly. "Well Hannibal, I think we might actually clear a little profit off of this one after all!"

"Might? Face, those corporate guys paid us our full fee, for once. Now where did all the money go?"

"Well, there were the usual expenses of course." Face fidgeted and straightened his tie. "Plus, we had to pay the hotel for the damage caused by that little incident in the courtyard with the grenades. Then B.A. insisted that we donate twenty percent our the remaining money to that Children's Hospital on the island. Oh, and don't forget, there was the small trouble at the airport-"

"Face?"

"Hmm?"

"Forget I asked."

"Right."

"Well, at least I got a good story out of it," Amy commented. "Nothing like exposing corruption in the sunny Caribbean to grab a headline or two."

"True," Hannibal agreed. "That slimebag Morgan and his gang won't be sabotaging anymore of Southeastern Air's planes to try to blackmail his former employers."

B.A. snorted as if he was agreeing with the Colonel. A soft groan followed before he returned to his snoring.

"You sure you hit B.A. with enough of his beddy-bye drink, Face?" Amy asked, a bit apprehensive. Nothing was worse than having B.A. wake up mid-flight.

"Relax, Amy, we'll be safe and secure back at the Miami Regency before the Sleeping Beauty back there wakes up. And after that, well, he can take the bus back to L.A. if he wants, the four of us are going first class, courtesy of our dear friends at Southeastern."

Amy remained unconvinced. "I hope you're right, Face."

"Of course I'm right," Face said indignantly. "I mean, what could go wrong now?"

"I'm not going to answer that. One thing I've learned from you guys is that something can always go wrong."

The passengers returned to their quiet contemplations for a while, and Amy noticed briefly as the sky darkened and the sun sank over the horizon that a light rain had begun to streak the plane's windows. Just as Hannibal had taken a final drag on his cigar and he thought of joining B.A. in a light nap, the craft began bouncing around quite severely, as if they were passing through some very strong storm winds.

"Must be hitting bad weather," Face commented, sounding slightly concerned.

"Yeah," Hannibal agreed. "Maybe I'd better check with Murdock, see how serious it is." Just as he finished making the remark he felt his stomach turn violently as the plane suddenly dropped like it was in free-fall. After a thankfully few seconds the decent stopped, but they continued to be jostled about by the storm winds.

"I think that would be a real good idea." Amy was clenching the arms of her chair tightly and had turned quite pale.

Hannibal staggered forward, and his anxiety over their situation increased as he entered the cockpit and saw Murdock banging on the aircraft's instruments and shouting loudly.

"Will you guys cut it out and behave yourselves!" Murdock whacked at a couple of dials whose needles were spinning around rapidly. It wasn't an encouraging scene.

"I take it things are not going well, Captain?"

Murdock glanced back quickly to see Hannibal and then turned his attention back to the plane's controls. "You could certainly say that much, Colonel. Everything was just peachy till a few minutes ago, just a little ocean squall, no big deal. Me 'n Billy had it all under control. Then all of a sudden, this bird's instruments start goin' crazy! And now it feels like we're flyin' through the middle of a hurricane or something. I didn't see it coming at all."

"Where exactly are we?" Hannibal asked, dropping into the co-pilot's seat. What little he could see out of the cockpit's windows did not encourage him.

"Well..." started Murdock, his eyes wide with concern, "last I could tell, we were just southeast of Miami, maybe about a hundred miles from the coast. But right now we could be just about anywhere." Just then another strong gust rocked them and the pilot struggled to regain control of the plane.

"I don't know how much more of this abuse this plane can take, Colonel," Murdock said in a totally and unusually sane voice that Hannibal knew meant they were in real trouble.

Suddenly, the night sky lit up as intense blue and green lightning flashed all around them.

"What the--" Murdock started, but he was cut off as a second wave of the lightning hit, the light so intense that he was temporarily blinded. When his vision cleared a few seconds later, he found to his amazement that the sky was now completely clear, if an intense shade of purple, and that they were no longer over the ocean but in fact just a few thousand feet above land. He glanced to his right to see Hannibal looking equally bewildered.

"What the hell is going on?" Face hollered as he stumbled into the cockpit.

"I don't know," replied Murdock. "But I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Billy."

"Maybe we'd better make an emergency landing," Hannibal suggested.

There was a loud sputtering noise as the plane's engines died. "Probably a wise decision, Colonel," Murdock said. "OK everyone, strap in and get comfy now, this ain't gonna be a pretty sight. You too Billy, go sit in back with B.A."

Murdock searched the terrain beneath them, looking for anywhere to land the quickly descending craft. He spotted a small clearing in the densely forested, mountainous land beneath them, which sure didn't look anything like the Southeastern U.S. to him. He worked to try to head the mostly uncooperative craft towards the clearing, and drew in a deep breath as the ground rapidly approached and suddenly brought their decent from the skies to a halt.

* * *

The scientists, Geordi, Data, and Picard watched in amazement as the strange craft burst through the dark center of the storm, its arrival accompanied by a bright blast of lightning and a painfully loud burst of thunder.

"My God, what is that thing?" Geordi gasped. "And what's it doing flying through the storm? Where did it come from?"

"It appears to be a primitive mechanical flight vessel of some type. Certainly not a standard Federation model," Data commented matter-of-factly. "If the scientists are correct and the storm is in fact a space/time anomaly, the craft may have actually arrived here from another place and time."

"However it got here, Mr. Data, it looks like it won't be remaining airborne for long," Picard said, as he and the others watched the craft descend from the sky and come to a crash landing somewhere a few miles north of the scientists' camp.

"Do you think anyone could have survived, Captain?" Geordi asked. From what they could observe the crash looked like it had been a violent one.

"I don't know. But I think we had better go find out."

* * *

"Murdock, do you think you could get over here and give me a hand with B.A.? He's not exactly getting any lighter these days, you know!" Face hollered as he struggled to lift the still-snoring Sergeant out of his seat on the now quite-wrecked aircraft.

"Sorry muchacho." Murdock announced as he jumped out of the plane. "That angry mudsucker is gonna wake up any minute now, I just know it, and I don't want to be anywhere within striking distance when that happens!"

"Yeah," Hannibal agreed, following Murdock out. "For some reason B.A.'s always so cranky after a plane crash. Is everybody all right?"

"A-OK here, Colonel," Murdock said. "Billy's OK too. He just curled up in B.A.'s lap and the big guy absorbed the impact for him."

"I'm all right," Amy said, stepping out carefully and looking despondently at her broken camera equipment. "Just a few bumps and bruises. But my equipment is shot."

"I'm gonna have a hernia from lifting B.A., other than that I'm just swell!" Face gasped, dragging B.A. out of the plane. "Could somebody PLEASE give me a hand here?"

"Aw, looks like you're doin' great, kid," was Hannibal's reply. Murdock applauded Face's efforts enthusiastically.

"Thanks a lot," Face grumbled.

Satisfied that his unit was all right, Hannibal began to inspect their surroundings. They had landed in some sort of clearing on the edge of a forest, although it was a forest unlike any Hannibal had ever seen before. He couldn't identify any of the trees, or the strange flowering vines draped through them everywhere. The fact that there were two moons visible in the purple-hued sky above them did not help matters either. "This sure doesn't look like the sunny Florida coast to me. Any idea where we are, Captain?"

"Not really Colonel. One minute we're over the ocean, then the next thing I know we're here--"

"Wherever here is," Amy interrupted. She bent over to examine a strange flower by her feet. She jumped back in alarm when the "flower" suddenly decided to walk away.

"...Yeah," Murdock continued thoughtfully, gazing around. "Look, up over that hill, its more of that weird lightning from the storm!" He pointed out towards the horizon, where strange lights were flickering brightly.

"I see it," Hannibal replied, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. He reached into his pocket for a reassuring cigar and then remembered sadly that he'd smoked his last one on the plane. "Hey Face, got a cigar?"

"I'm a little preoccupied here, Hannibal!" Face yelled, still struggling with B.A.

"This place is really bizarre," Murdock commented. "I mean, even for me this place is bizarre, and I've hallucinated some strange things before, believe me, but nothin' like this..." He paused for a minute, thinking, then his face lit up as an idea came to mind. "Hey, wait a minute, we were flying through the Bermuda triangle, right? So I bet that's why we crashed! I bet it has something to do with space aliens, or, or maybe this here is in fact the lost city of Atlantis! Or maybe--"

"Grrrr rr errer.." came a rumbling from behind Face.

"Uh-oh." Face quickly dropped B.A. and rushed over to join the others. "He's coming around, what are we going to tell him this time?" Face looked to Hannibal, who just shrugged.

"Give me a cigar, then maybe I can think of something."

Face checked his jacket pockets. "Er...sorry, Hannibal, I'm all out."

"I AIN'T GOIN' ON NO PLANE!" With a loud roar and rattling of gold B.A. suddenly shook himself awake and leapt to his feet, looking around first in anger and then complete confusion.

Hannibal, Face and Amy stood together, smiling nervously and struggling to look calm. Murdock tried to hide behind them.

"Where are we? What happened?" B.A. demanded of them, then he turned around and saw the wrecked plane. "I KNEW IT! I just knew it! You put me on a plane! A PLANE! And Murdock crashed it! You guys are always putting me on planes and that crazy fool is always crashing them! Well I ain't taking it no more! This time you're gonna pay! I mean it, and that fool Murdock is getting it first!"

"Now B.A., take it easy," Hannibal said soothingly. "It wasn't Murdock's fault, really. A freak storm hit us out of nowhere, that's why we crashed. Why, if it wasn't for Murdock's superior skill as a pilot in making this emergency landing, we wouldn't be here right now!"

"Yeah B.A.," Murdock chimed in, peeking out from behind Face. "You should really be thanking me right now."

"Oh I'll thank you all right. I'm gonna thank you with this fist, sucka!" B.A. charged at Murdock, who was already running at full speed towards the nearest tree.

* * *

"Captain, I believe we have located the craft and her crew," Data announced as they approached the forest clearing. "There are five life forms visible and they appear to be humanoid-at least four of them. I am not sure about the very large one. They appear to be engaged in a rather violent disagreement, sir."

"Indeed." Picard observed the strange scene before them. Two men and a woman were trying to calm down the strange-looking dark-skinned man, who was shouting and trying to grab at the fourth man who had climbed halfway up a tree. "I believe they could use some assistance," Picard continued, and so he, Data, and Geordi proceeded forward towards the five strangers. They were much too preoccupied to notice the approaching officers.

"You'd better calm down B.A., or I'm gonna get Billy after you!" the man in the tree was yelling.

"Excuse me," Picard called loudly, "but perhaps we can be of some help?"

The group immediately stopped their bickering and struggling and turned to face the Enterprise crew, who were more than a bit shocked to suddenly find themselves facing the five large, if rather peculiar looking firearms the strangers had instantly pulled on them.

"You can start by telling us just who the hell you are," said the oldest man, who gazed coolly at Picard with crystal-clear blue eyes. "And then you could tell us where we are and how we got here."

Picard said calmly, "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise. These are two members of my crew, Commander Data and Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge. You are on the planet Myranji III of the Myranji star system. It appears that you have arrived here through a local intense disruption in the space-time continuum." The Captain paused, seeing the puzzled faces of the strangers. "Our ship was here to investigate this unusual astronomical event when we saw you craft...well, fly right through it."

"Whoa, whoa, now wait a minute," said the younger man with light-brown hair. "What's this about a Starship? Space-time disruptions? Star systems? Is this some kind of a joke? I've never heard of anything like this before, well, except maybe from Murdock. The last thing I knew we were on Earth and caught in a bad tropical storm."

"I knew it! I just knew it!" cried the man in the tree, who jumped down to join the others. "Space aliens! I TOLD you it was space aliens that brought us here. Say, you guys wouldn't happen to know how I could get to the Dagobah system, would ya? There's an old guy named Yoda that I've been meaning to talk to --"

"Shut up, fool!" snapped the large man. "I ain't in no mood for your jibber-jabber so if you want to stay alive just shut up!"

Data turned to Picard. "Captain, based on what these men have said, their attire, their weapons and their craft, I believe that they are most likely from Earth--the United States of America, to be exact--from sometime in the late twentieth century."

"Your friend there's correct," the oldest man said. "We are from the United States. And last I checked it was still 1983." He paused for a moment. "Are you trying to suggest that we've been through a...a time warp or something? That you guys are from the future, and that we're on another planet?"

"That would appear to be the situation, yes," said Picard. "Please, if you would put away your weapons, we only wish to help you, to find out exactly what has happened. We mean you no harm, and we had nothing to do with your accidental arrival here."

The three men and the woman looked to the oldest man, who must have been their leader. After a few seconds, the man put away his firearm, and then the others did the same. "OK, Captain. I believe you. And I think we can trust you, at least for now." He walked forward, removing his black leather gloves, and extended a hand to Picard, who took it. "I'm Colonel Hannibal Smith, and this is my unit. Sergeant B.A. Baracus..." he pointed at the large black man, who growled softly, "...Lieutenant Templeton Peck..." the young-looking man smiled and pulled at his tie, "...Miss Amy Allen...." he motioned towards the woman, who kept glancing nervously around her feet, "...and Captain H.M. Murdock," he finished, pointing at the man from the tree, who had a huge grin on his face. That guy looks awfully familiar, Geordi thought to himself, although he couldn't quite figure out why.

"Well, gentlemen, Miss Allen, will you come along with us to our ship? I believe we have a great deal to discuss. And I think you might find it a most...interesting...experience," Picard said.

"I'm sure we will," Hannibal agreed with a wry smile that made Picard feel uneasy. "Come on guys, let's check this place out."

"And me without my camera," Amy sighed. "The news story of the twentieth century bites the dust."

"Picard to Enterprise. Eight to beam up."

"Beam up?! Hey, where are we goin'?" B.A. looked around, suddenly growing very concerned.

"Relax, great Baracan-One," Murdock said. "This is gonna be great! Man, am I gonna have stories to tell when I get back to the VA..."

"Say Captain, you got any cigars aboard this Enterprise?"


	2. Double Heat

"So this is the future," Face observed as the Team, Picard and LaForge walked through the corridors of the Enterprise. He watched intently as a shapely female officer walked by and smiled. "I could learn to like it here."

"I'll have your equipment and other belongings brought up from the crash site, along with what remains of your craft," Picard said. "Perhaps we can have it repaired for you, although I doubt if it can help you get home from here."

"You can keep that damn plane, I ain't goin' nowhere near it!" B.A. grumbled. "Man, I don't like none of this. One minute we're in the Bahamas. Next thing I know we're on some crazy planet near four hundred years in the future. Then we get zapped onto this spaceship, and bein' on a spaceship ain't much different from bein' on a big airplane. And I HATE airplanes!"

"Cheer up B.A.," Amy said, patting him on the shoulder. "At least Murdock's not flying it."

"Grrrr...."

"Is he always like that?" Geordi whispered to Hannibal.

"Unfortunately. But, he grows on you after a while."

"Yeah," Murdock added. "Sorta like mold."

"All right," said Picard. "Here are your quarters. I'm sure that after your ordeal you could use a brief rest before proceeding. In an hour I'll send someone to escort you to the observation lounge, where we will discuss this...situation."

"Sounds good Captain," Hannibal said. "All right guys, let's crash out for awhile."

"I don't wanna hear no more about crashing!" B.A. bellowed, following Hannibal into one of the rooms.

After the others had settled in, Picard and Geordi turned to leave. "I'm going back to my quarters now, sir. I have some reports to go over before we prepare to leave this system, make sure some diagnostics checked out all right."

"Fine," Picard said. "I'll see you at the meeting."

Geordi started ahead, then stopped and looked back to Picard. "Uh, Captain?"

"Yes, Mr. LaForge?"

"You know, is it just me, or is there something kind of weird and familiar about that pilot of theirs, Murdock. I keep getting the funny feeling that I know him from somewhere, but I can't quite put my finger on from where."

Picard considered Geordi's comments for a minute. "Now that you mention it, yes, he does look rather familiar. Interesting. In any event, I'm having Data check old Earth military records to find out more about our strange visitors from the past. I have a funny feeling about this entire business."

* * *

B.A. was sitting, still brooding, when a strange beeping sound from the door to the room he was sharing with Hannibal drew him out of his sulking.

"Must be our escort," said Hannibal, getting up from his bed.

B.A. stood up and approached the door. "Yeah, what d'you want?" he barked, and the door slid open to reveal a rather imposing looking figure, whose scowl seemed to match B.A.'s in its intensity.

"I am Lieutenant Worf. I am here to take you to the observation lounge. Are you ready to go?" the strange figure asked gruffly. He was a good bit taller than B.A. and appeared almost human, except for the unusual bony projections on his forehead. B.A. was not a man easily intimidated, however, and he stood firmly in place, staring down Worf.

"We're ready, right B.A.?" Hannibal said, coming up behind B.A.

"Yeah," B.A. muttered, leaving the room with Hannibal but not taking his eyes off of Worf. He worked hard to suppress a growl as he walked past the officer.

Face, Murdock, and Amy were already waiting in the corridor, and Murdock was trying his hardest to convince Face that he had just seen E.T. walking by down at the other end of the hallway.

"Murdock, that was not E.T.! It was a perfectly normal small child! Amy, you saw it, I'm right, aren't I?"

"Well, I certainly don't think it was E.T., but you got to admit, Face, that kid did look a little weird. I mean, his skin was kind of green. Don't forget, there are aliens here."

"It was E.T. I'm absolutely positive. And Billy here agrees with me, don't you boy?" Murdock bent over to pet his invisible dog. "There, you see?"

"It was not E.T., Murdock, and if you don't cut it out I'm not taking you to see anymore movies when we get back to Earth--especially science-fiction ones!" Face insisted.

"If we get back to Earth..." Amy corrected him.

"Follow me, please," Worf said, eager to get moving. Why Captain Picard had any interest in helping this bunch of obvious riff-raff was something Worf couldn't comprehend. The five team members followed the security officer to the turbo-lift.

"Phoooone hoooome," Murdock said to Face as the door closed.

* * *

"Well, you've already met Mr. Data and Mr. Worf, allow me to introduce you to the rest of the crew that I've gathered here," Picard said. "This is Commander William Riker, Dr. O'Hare and Dr. Sullivan, the two scientists in charge of the investigation of the anomaly on Myranji III, and the Enterprise's Counselor, Deanna Troi."

"Why, hello," Face said, approaching Troi with his best, most seductive smile. "It is truly a pleasure to meet you."

"Counselor? Is that sorta like a psychiatrist?" Murdock asked.

"Well, in a sense, yes," Troi replied, ignoring Face. "You see, I am an empath, which means that I can sense the emotions of those around me. As a counselor I serve to help crew members deal with any emotional problems they may encounter."

"Oh, good." Murdock was much relieved. "'Cause if we're stuck here too long and I miss my weekly therapy session, I'm gonna start goin' crazy!"

B.A. grimaced. "Like you ain't crazy already, fool!"

Troi took a closer look at Murdock, a puzzled expression on her face. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

* * *

"Come in," Geordi called, looking up from the computer screen on his desk to see Lieutenant Barclay enter. "Hey Reg, what's up?"

"Oh, er, hi Geordi. I-I'm sorry to bother you, but I just finished up that level three diagnostic, I know you wanted the results by this morning but, well, um--"

"Don't worry about it Reg, I was occupied with some other things today..." Geordi's voice trailed off as, looking up at Barclay, it suddenly all fell into place. "Oh boy. I don't believe it!"

"Is...something wrong?" Barclay asked, growing nervous.

"Um, wrong? No, no, not exactly wrong, Reg. Just strange. In fact I think we'd better head over to the observation lounge right now, there's someone there I think you need to meet."

"Huh?"

"Come on, I'll explain on the way."

* * *

"Are you trying to say that we're stuck here? That there's no way for us to get home?"

Hannibal Smith was growing increasingly impatient with the scientists and their seemingly endless techno-babble explanations of what had happened that day. Most of the scientific details had gone right over his head, but Hannibal was pretty sure he had understood enough to know that the Team had landed in the middle of one big mess.

"Well, in effect, unfortunately, yes," Dr. O'Hare said, growing a bit impatient himself because he couldn't seem to get through to anyone. It really wasn't that difficult a concept if you had any understanding of astrophysics and quantum phenomena. The scientist took off his glasses for a moment to rub his eyes and try to clear his head, and sighed deeply. "Let me try to explain the situation simply...again. As I said earlier, our scientists quickly were able to identify the storm on Myranji III as a small, but very intense, disruption in the space-time continuum. A 'time rift' so to speak. Time rifts have been encountered and studied on numerous occasions in the past as avenues allowing for travel between different locations in space and time. Sometimes these rifts are quite stable, in their own way, and can exist at specific locations in four-dimensional space for years, even centuries. Some, however, are much more short-lived. In every case previously documented, the rift allowed for travel in both directions. This trait is why the particular rift on Myranji III is so unusual and why we have been studying it so closely. It is only stable in one direction of travel--from twentieth century Earth to twenty-fourth century Myranji III. It is not possible to pass through the rift in the opposite direction."

"Why?" Picard asked.

"Because for some reason the ionization and thermoquantum forces and at this end of the rift are severely dissipated," Dr. Sullivan answered. "We have speculated that this energy scattering may be due to the immense distance through both time and space between the rift's portals, or because of some unusual trace elements in Myranji III's atmosphere that could be producing strange sub-nucleic particle refraction interference. We really can't say for sure. We do know, however, that the rift is too unstable to last much longer and will likely collapse onto itself and disappear sometime in the next forty-eight hours."

"And you have no idea about the reason for the appearance of the rift?" Riker asked.

"No sir, that remains a mystery," O'Hare said. "Even in this day and age, there is still much about astrophysical phenomena such as this that scientists have yet to understand. We don't know why these rifts are formed."

"I still think it has somethin' to do with the Bermuda triangle," Murdock said. B.A. shot him a threatening look.

"Well, whatever caused it, I guess that means we're not going anywhere anytime soon," Face groaned. "This is just perfect."

"I don't know, maybe it's not so bad Face," Hannibal countered. "I mean, I'm sure our special skills could be put to good use somewhere in the galaxy. And think of it, we'd never have to worry about Decker and his band of merry men again."

"Hmm...yeah, you do have a point there, Hannibal." Face agreed thoughtfully. Why, he could already imagine some scams he could run right here on the Enterprise, and there were some lovely ladies that deserved his close attention...

"Well I ain't havin' none of this future jive!" B.A. roared. "I ain't gonna stay here, even if it means goin' back to dealin' with Decker. I got my responsibilities. I can't leave those kids back at the youth center. And besides--" he paused for emphasis, pointing a finger accusingly at Picard, "my van's back there. I ain't leavin' my van for no one to mess with!"

"I'm afraid, Mr. Baracus, there may be nothing we can do to help you get back to your precious 'van'," Picard said. "We can arrange for your transport to Earth, if you wish. But it appears that we can do nothing to return you to your time."

"Well, I guess that settles that," Amy commented. The room fell quiet for a few moments.

Murdock seized the opportunity and cleared his throat. "You know, I just had a crazy thought--"

"Every thought you have is a crazy one, fool," B.A. growled.

"Oh thanks, B.A., for your continued support and encouragement. But have any of you considered the possibility of a hyperspacial fracture in the time rift?" Murdock asked. The others all looked at him curiously.

"The only thing fractured is your brain, Murdock, so shut up!" B.A. yelled, ready to pounce.

"Continue, please, Captain Murdock," Picard said, eager for any suggestions, or at least to avoid a fist fight.

"Thank you, Captain," Murdock said, standing up and getting ready for a big speech. "Now as I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted--" he glared at B.A.--"I was thinkin' that perhaps the time rift has been fractured somehow. I mean, you guys said that these rifts always run in both directions, right? So what happened to this one? Maybe it's been split, like, like a fork in the road or somethin'! That might explain the unusual energy scattering, if the fracture occurred spontaneously and exothermally." Murdock paused to take a deep breath and look around at his audience. "Maybe, just maybe, somewhere else, at this specific time but at another location in space, is another portal that would take us back in time--the other end of the fork, so to speak. I mean, it wouldn't make sense for the rift not to work SOMEHOW in both directions. Why, if it didn't it could disrupt the thermodynamic and entropic stability and equilibrium of the entire universe! And if equilibrium and at least meta-stability aren't maintained at all times, well...you know..."

"What?" Face asked. "What would happen, Murdock?"

"You know..." Murdock said ominously. "Bad things, kemosabe. Very bad."

"Man, you don't know the last thing about stability and I'm sick of listened to your crazy babblin'!" B.A. pounded his fist on the table for emphasis. Murdock jumped back and eyed the door.

"Actually, we hadn't considered that possibility before," O'Hare said, looking to Sullivan, who nodded thoughtfully.

"Then, are you saying that such a fracture in the rift is actually possible?" Riker asked incredulously.

"Perhaps. Yes, it might be possible." Sullivan said.

"We'll have to go back over our measurements, take some new readings at the rift portal, of course. So we can see if we can project from proto-nuclear magnetism traces where the second portal would be located." O'Hare added, growing a bit excited at the idea. "It's a long shot, but we might find something."

"How long will this additional work take?" Picard asked.

"I think we should be able to give you a definitive answer by eleven-hundred hours tomorrow, sir," Sullivan said, and O'Hare nodded. "Yes, that should be enough time.

"Very well. In that case, we shall meet together again at that time, and hopefully with good news." Picard turned to the team. "In the meantime, Colonel Smith, you and your men shall remain our guests on board the Enterprise. Feel free to explore the ship and take advantage of our many available facilities."

"Thanks Captain," Hannibal said. "We'll do that."

"You know, counselor, if we're going to be waiting around here a while, perhaps you can help me," Face said to Troi. "This whole experience has been terribly traumatic for me. To think that I may never see my home again, to be separated from my loved ones..." The Lieutenant sighed sadly and focused a pleading, puppy-dog look at Troi. "I really think I could use one of your special therapy sessions. How about meeting me for one...over diner this evening, perhaps?"

"Sorry, Lieutenant Peck, but I never mix business with pleasure--or displeasure, as the case may be." Troi stood up to leave.

Hannibal turned to Face. "Give it up Face, she's an empath."

"But Hannibal, an empath would only feel the sincerity of my intentions that much better..."

Troi shot Face an icy glare. "Exactly."

As the rest of the assembled crew began to rise, the door opened and Barclay and Geordi entered.

"Oh, Captain, I...I'm sorry to interrupt sir," Barclay started, "but is it true that--" he stopped in shock as he saw Murdock, who just at that moment turned to look at the new arrivals himself.

"Oh my God! I...it....it's me!" Murdock stammered, and the two men stood frozen in place, mouths hanging open in awe.

The others looked on, speechless.

"The resemblance is astonishing," Data finally commented.

Overcoming his initial surprise, Murdock slowly approached Barclay and began walking around him, observing him from different angles, as everyone else watched quietly. Barclay was too confused to do anything except stand there wringing his hands. After several complete circles, Murdock stopped and stood directly in front of Barclay, and then reverently removed his ever-present blue baseball cap and placed it on the head of the nervous engineer.

"Behold--I have encountered destiny," said Murdock.

"Oh boy, is this gonna be fun," Amy said to Troi, who couldn't believe her eyes.

Both men continued studying each other intently, cocking their heads and wrinkling brows as one. They moved as if in front of a mirror, turning their heads from side to side. Suddenly, they began to smile as one, and then in askance looked towards Picard and Hannibal, who were standing together. The Captain looked at the Colonel, who just shrugged.

"Great, just great." Face grimaced. "This mess keeps going from bad to worse. Look, it's the new Doublemint twins--double the psychoses, double the fun!"

B.A. seemed to be going into a state of shock, glancing quickly back and forth between Murdock and Barclay. "I can't deal with two of these fools, Hannibal!"

"Calm down, B.A.," Hannibal said, getting ready to leave. "Let's go guys, we've been through enough for one day."

"C'mon, good buddy," Murdock said happily, throwing an arm around Barclay and following Hannibal out the door. "You know, I do believe this could be the beginning of a truly magnificent friendship!"

"This is my worst nightmare," B.A. said gloomily.

"B.A., you always say that," Amy said, leaving with Face.

"Yeah but this time I mean it. It can't get worse than this--stuck without my van and with two crazy fools!"

B.A. was the last of the team to depart. On his way out he stopped to look back and size up Worf once more, and the two scowled at each other for a while.

"What you lookin' at, sucker?!" B.A. blurted out, leaving.

Worf growled at the Sergeant, then, looking at the Captain, calmly indicated he door and exited himself. The remaining Enterprise crew tried to collect their thoughts.

"Well, it looks like this is going to be an interesting voyage after all," Riker commented.

Picard nodded. "Indeed."


	3. The Restaurant at the End of the Enterprise

Picard sat quietly in his ready room, sipping on his second cup of Earl Gray and contemplating the information Data had located for him on their visitors, information that was now scrolling across the computer screen in front of him. Three wanted fugitives from Earth's Vietnam War, their certified insane pilot, and a newspaper reporter rumored to be their accomplice. Quite an unusual bunch, he had to admit that much. If they had arrived from the year 1983, as they claimed, that meant that Smith, Peck, and Baracus had now been on the run from the government for eleven years.

They were supposed to have been the best of the best, the reports all said--at least, they were before the bank robbery and murder that would change their status from that of heroes to fugitives.

Picard found the whole situation most intriguing, and was curious to learn more about this unusual "A-Team" that had stumbled across the path of the Enterprise. He finished his tea and got up to return to the bridge to tell the other officers the news.

* * *

"How's business this evening, Guinan?" It was getting late in evening and Riker decided to take a little time off in Ten-Forward before retiring for the night. It had been a rather long and tedious day.

"Fine, commander, just fine. In fact, more than fine. This place has been packed for hours. I'm not sure when I last had this many people here."

"I see what you mean," Riker replied, gazing around. "I guess everyone's going stir-crazy, waiting to get out of this lousy sector. Myself included," he added with a grin.

"Um hmm..." Guinan nodded. "Though I think it's more than just that, commander. I have a feeling there are some very bizarre things going on. Something strange is brewing tonight--and not just the synth ale, if you know what I mean."

"If you say so Guinan." Riker said absently, spying what he thought might cure his doldrums at a table in the corner. "Excuse me, but I think I've found what I was looking for."

* * *

Meanwhile, Murdock and Barclay were sitting together, getting better acquainted and enjoying many stares and double-takes from passing crewmen.

"You really do have to come visit L.A. sometime, Reg, it's great! The smog, the congested freeways, the rampant violence, the gang wars...man, there's nothin' like it!"

"Hmm...sure sounds that way. But, you know, things can get pretty interesting out here too. Well occasionally at least..."

"So, this is one of our special visitors from the past, Barclay?" Guinan asked, approaching their table.

"Huh? Oh, er, right! Guinan, this is my new friend, Captain H.M. Murdock."

"Nice to meet you, Captain Murdock."

"Howdy," Murdock said, checking out Guinan. "Wow, that's a great hat. I gotta get me one like it."

Guinan smiled. "Why thank you. Now, can I get you two anything this evening?"

Murdock looked around, and spotted a man at the bar sipping on a odd-looking, multi-hued concoction. The tall, dark-haired man looked rather out of place wearing a tattered old bathrobe and with a towel draped around his neck, but he certainly appeared content enough.

"I'll try one of those." Murdock pointed at the strange man's drink. "What about you, Reg?"

"Well, um, I guess just the usual...a warm milk, please."

"Right," Guinan said, leaving.

"Gee, I think you'n B.A. ought to get along just swell, he just lives on that moo-juice."

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothin'. So, you're an engineer, right? Isn't that kind of dull? I mean, what's there to do around here for fun?"

"Um, ah...well there's lots of stuff to do, I suppose. We have all sorts of different types of entertainment available. Concerts, plays, that sort of thing. And people have all sorts of different hobbies--"

"You got any video arcades?"

"Arcades? Ah...well, no, I don't think so."

"Too bad," Murdock said sadly. "I'd have thought that with all the technology you guys have, you would have plenty of great video games by now. Flight simulators, racing games, taking on evil aliens..."

Suddenly Barclay had a thought. "Actually, there are the holodecks. If you like video games you might like the holodecks."

"The what?" Murdock asked, eyes widening as he suddenly become very curious.

* * *

"Excuse me, Miss Allen? Um...hello?"

Amy's train of thought was interrupted by Commander Riker, who was standing in front of her table, looking down at her with a concerned expression. "Are you all right? I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"Oh, hello, commander. No, not really." Actually, he had. She had been busy taking down notes on this latest--and definitely weirdest ever--adventure with the team. She was fascinated by all the aliens, all the activity on the ship. Just the realization that she was actually out here in the middle of space, light-years away from earth had her mind working overtime. Well, if I wasn't going to be able to tell the news story of the century, she had said to herself, at least I'm going to write one hell of a science fiction novel. She had been on the verge of composing the perfect title for her book when Riker had come by. "Please, sit down."

"Thank you, Miss Allen," Riker took a chair at her table. "And please, Will is just fine," he added with a smile that she supposed was meant to be seductive.

"All right, Will." Oh boy, she thought. "So, how can I help you...Will?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see how you were doing, find out how the future's treating you, that's all."

"Just fine, really. I mean, this whole experience is so overwhelming! It's remarkable just how much mankind has accomplished in the last few centuries. To find out that there really is life out in the universe besides us. That we managed to make it this far and overcome so many problems on Earth. There's so much I want to know, to learn, to report--" she stopped and laughed. "Of course, if I did actually go back to Earth and try to report any of this seriously, they'd probably send me off to join Murdock at the loony bin!"

"If I may ask you, Miss Allen, what exactly is a news reporter like yourself doing traveling around with a group of fugitive mercenaries, anyway?"

Amy sat back, and calmly gave Riker a suspicious look. "You mean, you know who we are then?"

"We checked old Earth records, yes, we know your friends are a group of wanted military criminals known as 'The A-Team.' But you haven't answered my question, what's your interest in them? Why risk becoming a fugitive yourself, put your life on the line, and join them?"

"That's a long story, commander--"

"Will."

"Er, right, Will. I guess, in the end, I did it--well, actually--we all do it, for one thing...for the jazz."

"Jazz? You know, I love jazz. I happen to play the trombone myself, maybe you'd like to come hear me--"

"That's not exactly the type of jazz I was talking about," Amy interrupted, then began to try to explain...

* * *

The rumpled-looking man at the bar stared dejectedly into the swirling colors in his glass. He couldn't exactly remember how he'd ended up where he was now sitting, or much of anything at all about the last few days. In fact, he had absolutely no idea where he was. Not a clue. But he did distinctly remember being at Milliway's last night, and ordering a few too many of these same drinks over the course of the evening. Convinced that the alien beverage had something to do with his current predicament, he decided to see if repeating the previous night's performance might mysteriously bring him back to where he had been when he started out--which, of course, he didn't actually remember at this moment, but that didn't overwhelmingly concern him--or at least might send him somewhere else that he did recognize. What've I got to lose this time anyway, he thought, wiping his brow with his towel and chugging down some more of his drink.

"Hi there. Gee, that's quite the fashion statement," came a rather annoying-sounding voice to his left. Though truthfully in his current state just about any voice directed at him would have been annoying. He looked up and after a few seconds managed to focus on the man in the designer suit and with blindingly bright teeth who was sitting at the bar next to him. "What part of the galaxy are you from, anyway?" the stranger asked, apparently endeavoring to make small talk.

"Bugger off," Arthur Dent managed to slur, turning his full attention back to his mission of complete inebriation.

"Right..." muttered the stranger, fixing his tie, already spotting a much more inviting subject for his attention at the other end of the bar.

* * *

"So anyway, in effect you can do...or be...virtually anything or anybody you want on the holodeck, and it looks and feels completely real!"

"Hmm. Yeah, I guess that's pretty neat, Reg," Murdock responded, a bit disappointed. "But you see, I do that all the time already, and I don't need any computer for it, just my hallucinations. Right Billy?" Murdock turned to look down at something on the floor.

"Billy...?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners? Reg, this is my dog Billy. Billy, say hello to my new best-est buddy Reg Barclay." Murdock smiled at Barclay, who was growing a bit concerned as Murdock was pointing at nothing but air. "Don't worry, he won't bite, he's very well behaved, most of the time, at least."

"Uh, sure..."

Guinan returned, bringing their drinks. "Here you go, gentlemen, one warm milk and one Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. You know I just learned how to make that one this evening from the gentleman at the bar in the bathrobe. Definitely something I'll have to have programmed permanently into the replicator. Now, if I may ask you Captain, what exactly does the H.M. stand for?"

"Howlin' Mad. It's a nickname I got way back in my old army days."

"Is that so. Were you angry a lot back then, Captain?"

"No ma'am, bein' angry is my friend B.A.'s department. I was crazy. Still am--certified by the state and everything!" Murdock stated proudly.

"Really!" Guinan exclaimed. "Isn't that something. You know, many of the greatest artists and creative thinkers in history were insane--at least they were considered to be insane by their peers. Often they were actually just too brilliant to be understood by those around them because their ideas were too radical, too different. Shunned and ridiculed, and only future generations would recognize them for the geniuses they were."

"Yeah, ain't that the truth!" Murdock agreed, thrilled to find someone who seemed to operate on a similar wavelength. "You wouldn't happen to be crazy too, would you?" he asked eagerly.

"Sometimes, maybe...but not in general. More like I find a little insanity now and then helps keep me sane the rest of the time," she finished with a smile. "Now if you'll excuse me, duty calls," she said as she headed back towards the bar.

"Truly a wise individual, Reg," Murdock declared fondly.

* * *

"The jazz isn't something you can explain Will, it's something you really have to experience first-hand to understand. It's like...going up against what seems to be an impossible situation, but knowing that you can't lose. Knowing it so much that you even flaunt it, push the odds even harder, just for the thrill of it. It is a rather exciting way to live, even if it is more than slightly crazy."

"Hmm. Yes. I think I understand. Well Miss Allen, things get quite exciting around here too. And I guess you could say that I've got a bit of a taste for 'living dangerously,' so to speak, as well."

"Is that a fact..."

"Why, yes, it is. For instance, just a short while back, we were on a most fascinating mission into the Neutral Zone when..."

* * *

"You...you're really...crazy?" Barclay asked, growing more bewildered by the minute.

"Most assuredly, my friend! Crazy, nuts, wacko, gone 'round the bend, bars in the window, whatever you want to call it," Murdock assured him. "You see, Reg, real insanity is truly an art form, albeit a most sadly under-appreciated one. And I consider myself an undeniable master of the craft! Why, I've gone through so many psychiatrists in the past decade that even the V.A. has lost count, and not one of them was ever able to pin a definite diagnosis on me. I even managed to drive one crazy myself, poor guy just couldn't take the pressure, I guess." Murdock shook his head and took a trial sip of the Gargle Blaster.

"Yeeee-ouch! Good thing I've been off my medications for a few days, this thing has got to cause some major nasty chemical interactions. Hey Face, get over here and try this out! I think I've found a cure for B.A.'s fear of flying."

* * *

"Yeah, in a minute, Murdock." Face turned back to the red-head he was currently working on seducing. "Chief Medical Officer? Really! Isn't that something. You know, doctor, I've had this terrible pain in my back ever since the crash today. I think I may have sprained something--"

"Oh, really..."

"Why, yes. Do you think maybe you could examine it? My back, I mean. Why I'm sure your expertly trained, delicate hands could find the problem in no time, and you could make this awful...aching...feeling go away," Face finished smoothly, lightly resting his hand on hers.

Beverly Crusher quickly pulled her hand away and stood up to leave.

"Sorry, Lieutenant, it's been a long day and I'm off duty. However, if you go down to sick bay we have plenty of trained personnel that can take care of your...backache."

"Sick bay, right, of course," Face muttered as she walked away. Tough room, he thought. Maybe I could use a drink..

* * *

Guinan was in the middle of getting an order ready for a group of rowdy engineers who were causing a ruckus by singing the M.I.T. Drinking Song loudly and horribly off-key when she looked up to see the strange figure that had apparently just entered. It stood silently at the bar, unmoving, save for a single hole on the "head" of its encounter suit, which occasionally expanded and contracted through some strange mechanical reflex.

"That's it," Guinan muttered to herself, thinking maybe she had gone crazy. "I definitely need a vacation."

She turned and started to approach the figure, eyeing it warily. "Well, well, well. I didn't know there were any of your kind on board the Enterprise. I haven't seen a Vorlon in ages. This can't be good news." The figure stood still, seemingly indifferent to her approach and her comments. "I don't suppose there's anything I could get for you this evening, is there?"

A few lights flashed on the chest plate of the alien's suit, but it said nothing. "No, I didn't think so." She sighed, shook her head as if to clear the bizarre sight out of her mind, and went back to preparing the drinks.

* * *

"Erm, well, its been really, ah, interesting meeting you Murdock. I hope we can help you and your friends get back to Earth all right. But, it's getting rather late, I think I should get going. I, um, well...I have to report in early tomorrow."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure Reg, sure." Murdock was halfway through his Gargle Blaster and was feeling quite mellow and at one with the universe. He marveled as Billy suddenly transformed himself into a giant Komodo Dragon. "Hey, maybe you can show me that holodeck-thingy of yours tomorrow."

"Uh, OK, Murdock, no problem. See you...see you later," Barclay said as he made for a quick escape, maneuvering carefully around the M.I.T. contingent. They had started playing Quarters and were becoming even louder and more obnoxious than before, arguing over the merits of different programming languages between game rounds.

"Quite an interesting fellow, wouldn't you say, Billy?" Murdock said of the engineer after he left. Billy jerked his head to gaze sullenly at Murdock, then he flicked his tongue at him and thumped his large scaly tail loudly on the deck. "Yeah, you're right, he needs to loosen up a bit. I think maybe we could help him out with that." Murdock looked around to see who else from the Team was around. He spotted Amy at the back of the room, a glazed expression on her face while Riker was going on non-stop about something. Murdock caught her eye and she shot him a pleading look in return.

"Uh-oh, Billy, looks like Amy needs a quick rescue. C'mon, lizard-breath." Murdock stood up, feeling a bit wobbly on his feet after a final sip of the Gargle Blaster. Billy let out a soft hiss and waddled along behind the Captain. "No Billy, I don't think it would be very wise for you to eat Commander Riker, even if it would be rather amusing. Besides, I don't think he'd taste very good. Too fatty. Say, can you teach me that neat transformation trick of yours sometime? Too bad Hannibal can't see you, you know how much he loves reptiles..."

* * *

Hannibal entered Ten-Forward just in time to see Face get slapped by a dark-haired female wearing one large, intricate earring.

"Problems, Lieutenant?"

"You might say that Hannibal," Face said, looking particularly frustrated.

"What exactly did you say to her, Face?"

"All I said was that I knew a wonderful plastic surgeon back in L.A. who could take care of those little ridges on her nose. We'd been doing great, and then she just slaps me!"

"Oh, Face," Hannibal said, "didn't you realize she was a Bajoran? They all have noses like that!"

"Ah, now I see. Great. Thanks Hannibal. Just tell me--HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THESE THINGS, HUH?!"

Hannibal patted Face on the shoulder. "Take it easy, kid, I think you're just pushin' your luck tonight, you know? Especially going after aliens. Here, try a Talarian cigar, they're great. Just the slightest hint of wild cherry, or something like it, at least."

"Er, no thanks Hannibal. Say, what happened to B.A.? Wasn't he with you?"

"Yeah, but he started talkin' to some guys down in Engineering, something about fixing a problem they were having with the warp drive..."

* * *

"You really think you can fix the problem, Mr. Baracus? I mean, have you ever had any experience working on a warp engine before?"

"Hey man, I can fix anything, especially engines! Now you got an acetylene torch or somethin' like it 'round here? Good. Now get out of my way."

* * *

"So there I was, Cardassians on one side, and what seemed like half the Romulan fleet on the other! With the rest of the senior officers knocked out cold or taken prisoner, I was the only one left who could---"

"Hey there Amy!" Murdock interrupted, bounding up to the reporter. "I'm gonna take Billy here on a walk through the arboretum before bedtime--he's actin' a little unruly this evening so I figure maybe he needs some exercise to calm down. You wanna come along? I could use an extra hand in case he decides to make a midnight snack of one of the officers."

"Sure Murdock," Amy said, appearing much relieved. "You'll have to excuse me, Will, but perhaps we can continue this most...stimulating conversation some other time?"

"Uh, well of course, Miss Allen, certainly." Riker was looking around, a bit concerned about who and where this "Billy"-creature was. "I'll look forward to it."

"I'm sure." Amy smiled as she got up and left with Murdock.

"Thanks Murdock, I owe you one," she whispered once they were out of Riker's earshot.

"Troubles with the high command, darlin'?" he teased.

"Mm hmm. I didn't think it could be possible, but that guy is worse than Face!"

* * *

It was getting near midnight, as if such time designations really meant anything in space, and the scene in Ten-Forward was becoming just a little too bizarre for Hannibal's tastes. The M.I.T. engineers had found themselves a medical technician who was from Harvard and they were preparing for war, or at least a damn good skirmish. Guinan was getting ready to kick the whole lot out, reaching under the bar counter and fingering that special little item she liked to keep handy for such occasions, wondering if it was time to finally try setting number two...

"Come on, Face, let's pack it in for today, get some rest. I have the feeling tomorrow has even more surprises in store for us."

"Yeah, guess you're right Hannibal," Face replied morosely, pushing away the Gargle Blaster that Murdock had insisted he try. Unfortunately it just had not mixed well with white zinfandel he'd been drinking previously. He was now beginning to fell rather ill on top of being depressed. "I think I'd have better luck with that empath!"

The two men turned to leave, but the strange alien in the encounter suit stood towering right in front of them, blocking their path.

Hannibal looked at the creature, fascinated. "Hey Face, you think I could get a costume like that for my next movie?"

Lights danced hypnotically on the alien's chest panel, followed by a strange, almost musical whirring sound. "You have...forgotten something?" came its echoing, mechanically-generated voice.

Hannibal checked the pockets on his jacket. "My cigars!" He turned back to grab his stash off of the bar counter. "Hey, thanks pal."

The figure moved aside and observed Hannibal and Face depart.

 _Click, whooosh, humm,_ came the noises from the suit. "And so...it begins."


	4. ....A Plan Comes Together

The senior officers, the scientists, and the team had gathered once again in the observation lounge. Only one person was missing from the group that had met together the previous evening.

Hannibal asked Face, "Where's Murdock?"

"I don't know, Hannibal. I saw him maybe two hours ago, and he said something that didn't make much sense, as usual. Something about holograms, I think..."

"Shall we begin?" Picard asked, and everyone settled down. "Dr. Sullivan, Dr. O'Hare, what is the latest information you have on the rift? Have you been able to find any new data to support the theory of the rift fracture?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact we have, Captain," O'Hare began. "While we cannot state for certain that a second portal actually exists at this end of the rift, we have been able to predict, based on quantum flux measurements, where it would be located."

An image of a mapped sector of space came up on the view screen panel. A red spot indicated the predicted location of the rift portal, on a planet inside a small star system.

"Are you certain about that location, doctor?" Riker asked. The Enterprise crew looked none-too-happy.

"With ninety-nine-point-nine-five percent accuracy, yes sir," Sullivan replied. "And we put the odds at about seventy-five percent that the portal does in fact exists, even though we have no direct proof."

"Not that I understand that map at all, but from your most enthused expressions I take it that's not a very friendly neighborhood," Hannibal commented.

Picard looked away form the map and turned to the team. "You are correct, Colonel Smith. That is the Garduval star system, which is just inside of the Cardassian border. While the Federation has a treaty with the Cardassians, they are vehement in their protection of the borders of their space. A Federation ship could not enter that system without causing a major confrontation and threatening the already uneasy peace relations we have."

"Not even if you asked them nicely?" Face suggested. Picard shook his head. "Very nicely?"

"I am afraid, Lieutenant Peck, lengthy negotiations with the Cardassians would be required to allow for your entry into their territory," Picard said.

"We predict that the entire rift is most certainly going to collapse in approximately thirty hours," O'Hare said, "so there would be no time for such negotiations. We can't even say for sure that this portal would take you home and that it even is there."

"And the Cardassians, I suppose, wouldn't be too eager to run over and check that it's there for us, would they?" Hannibal asked.

"I think the less the Cardassians know about the rift, the better," insisted Riker. "If this portal does exists, and the Cardassians realize it leads right to twentieth-century Earth, does anyone here doubt that they would use it to launch a major attack against Earth? It would be a chance to destroy one of their major adversaries before they had any means of retaliation!"

"I agree, Number One. We had just better hope that they have not already discovered the portal--if it is there." Picard turned to Hannibal. "I am afraid, Colonel, that because of the risks involved we can do nothing to assist you in reaching the portal."

"Perhaps not, Captain," Hannibal responded thoughtfully, "but, perhaps you still can. It depends on how much you're willing to trust us, and how much you want to help. Maybe...maybe we just need to look at the situation a little differently. Put a different spin on things."

"Uh-oh." B.A. shook his head. "The man's on the jazz. Here we go again..."

"You have a plan, Hannibal?" Amy asked.

"Of course, kiddo. I always have a plan." Hannibal smiled and pulled out a fresh cigar. "And this one, I must say, is brilliant. It's completely foolproof."

"Uh-oh," Amy, Face and B.A. all said in unison.

"Let me guess," ventured Face. "We're going through the front door, right?"

Hannibal answered with a smile, "No, actually I think this time we'll use the emergency exit."

"Oh." Face nodded his head in understanding and then turned to B.A. "I think for once I'd rather use the front door."

"Just what do you have in mind, Colonel Smith?" Picard asked suspiciously.

"You said that no Federation ship would be allowed into Cardassian space, correct?"

"It would be attacked by Cardassian forces as soon as its presence was detected," Picard replied. "And in that particular sector, where there are several inhabited star systems, there are bound to be patrol ships in the area. Detection would not take long at all."

"Okay. But, I assume that this ship here has pretty good defensive and offensive weapons systems, right? I mean, you could hold off a few patrol ships for a while. Long enough, say, to create a diversion, to let one of your small shuttle crafts--with us onboard--sneak out and head for the portal?"

"Yes, but if we were to attack a Cardassian patrol ship, even in a defensive strike while in their territory, it would be considered an act of war!" Riker argued.

"Exactly. If you did." Hannibal pointed at the officers." But what if we were commanding the Enterprise? What if a group of renegade space pirates, with no loyalties or allegiance to the Federation or anyone else, had hijacked the Enterprise? Forced you and your crew to take us into Cardassian space, so we could reach the portal?"

"Are you threatening the Enterprise, Colonel Smith?" Work reached reflexively for his phaser.

"No, no, no, don't you get it? We couldn't really hijack your ship. Even I know that would be an impossible job for my team, for just five of us. You see, the whole thing would be an act. The Cardassians don't have to know there's only five of us. You and your crew would just have to pretend that the ship had been taken over by us, and that there actually were enough of us onboard to hold the ship and control all of its major systems. That way, after we clear out of here, you just zap back across the border, claiming that after some of our men left, you were able to take on the rest and regain control of the ship. Then the Federation doesn't get accused of attacking the Cardassians--we do! But by that time, we're back on Earth, and you're just out one shuttle craft." Hannibal paused to take a long drag on his cigar. "Nice, isn't it?"

Riker glared at Hannibal. "Nice?! It's crazy, that's what it is! Even if we were able to fool the Cardassians with that ploy--and that's a big if--we could never justify such an insane, reckless action to Starfleet. We'd probably all face court-martials for violating the treaty and risking a war, and for what? To send five fugitives back home? It's foolish and much too dangerous."

"I though you said you liked living dangerously, Will," Amy chided him. Riker turned red as the others eyed him curiously.

Picard studied Hannibal carefully. "Our shuttle crafts are not designed for heavy combat situations, Colonel. While they are equipped with a fairly good shielding system, they do not have much in the way of offensive weaponry. I doubt we could provide enough cover for your shuttle craft until it reached the portal, once you had been detected."

"What if you gave us a chance to make a few modifications on the shuttle--add some more weapons, maybe boost the engines and defenses a bit." Hannibal looked to B.A.. "Sergeant, you could rig something together, right?"

"Yeah, I guess..." B.A. thought it over. "Yeah, sure man. A little help from the guys in engineering, and I could come up with somethin' good. Though I'm not sure how much I like this plan of yours in the first place, Hannibal."

"What about the fact that none of you know anything about piloting a shuttle craft?" Troi asked.

Hannibal shrugged. "Not a problem. Give Murdock a crash-course, and I'm sure he could do it. He always says he can fly anything."

"Now I REALLY don't think I like this plan!" B.A. growled. "A crash course? Man, crashing is the only thing that fool knows how to do!"

Hannibal turned back to Picard. "What do you say, Captain? It's your call. If you say it's too risky--" Hannibal held up his hands --"I'll understand. You know this universe better than I do. But give it some thought. I promise we can work it out so that no one here gets hurt in the long run. Not you, not the Cardassians, not your treaty."

"You see, we have a knack for getting the job done without hurting anyone," Face added. "It's kind of our specialty."

"I need some time to consider this," Picard said, "even though I know time is not something we have in excess right now. I will let you know my final decision within the hour, Colonel Smith. Until then you and your men are excused. Dr. Sullivan and Dr. O'Hare, you may leave as well."

"Very well. Come on guys." Hannibal, B.A., Face and Amy left, along with the scientists.

"You're not actually considering this insane plan of theirs, are you?" Riker asked, amazed.

Picard stood up and walked over to the window. For a few moments he said nothing. "Yes. I am considering it."

"But why?" Troi asked. "Captain, I sense that, except perhaps for Mr. Baracus, they would not be that unwilling to remain here in the twenty-fourth century. Colonel Smith is, I think, not so much interested in actually getting home as he is in the challenge of pulling off this wild plan of his. It's all just a game to him."

"True," Picard replied. "Very true. But...what if, what if it was important, for the sake of others, for Colonel Smith and his team to return to the twentieth century? What if many other lives depended on it?"

Riker practically snorted. "I find that rather hard to believe," he said.

"What do you mean, Captain?" Troi asked.

"Last night I did a little more research on our friends. In the year 1987--three years after the time from which they arrived here--Smith, Peck and Baracus received official government pardons under mysterious circumstances. Many years later, Miss Allen published a book recounting her experiences with the team and also what she learned about why they were pardoned. I read through her book last night; it was most revealing. They apparently helped many people during their years on the run, defenseless people threatened by organized crime figures, corrupt businessmen and politicians, third world dictators and drug lords. And Miss Allen reported that they actually earned their pardon by working for a covert government operative on missions of international importance--missions that, in small but important ways, helped maintain the balance of power on Earth during the late twentieth century."

Riker was still unconvinced. "You really believe it's that important for them to get home? That it could effect Earth's history significantly?"

"The history of the world? Maybe not. But would you want to risk changing history by keeping them here? Many lives were affected by their work, and I think we owe it to those individuals to make sure the team gets back to Earth in time to help them. And besides--" Picard paused, a thin smile spreading across his lips. "After reading all about the legendary A-Team and their daring exploits, I think it would be a shame not to take advantage of this unique opportunity to see them in action."

* * *

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray--"

"Shut up guys, just shut up! Listening to you two singin' is almost as bad as listenin' to Murdock jibber-jabberin'!"

Hannibal and Face shut up and went back to their card game. B.A. resumed his silent sulking position. Amy paced the floor expectantly.

"You think he's gonna buy it, Hannibal?" she asked. "You think he's gonna decide to help us?"

"Sure he will, kiddo. I think I understand that Captain Picard pretty well, and what motivates him. What makes him tick. He's a stand-up sort of guy, but not without a sense of adventure. He'll come through for us on this one...even if he doesn't realize it himself yet."

A few minutes later, there was a beeping at the door to their quarters, and Picard and Geordi entered.

"What's the news, Captain?" Hannibal asked, looking up from his hand of cards.

"I have decided, much to the dismay, I might add, of some of my senior officers, that we will assist you with your interesting plan, Colonel Smith. I suggest that you and I meet now to work out the details before we proceed any further."

"Terrific! You won't regret it, Picard."

"I certainly hope not. Mr. LaForge has agreed to help you with your 'modifications' on the shuttle craft."

"All right. B.A.--you, Face and Amy go find Murdock and get working on the shuttle."

"If your friend Murdock is with Barclay, I think I have a pretty good idea where they might be," Geordi said with a sigh. "Come on, we'll pick them up on the way to the shuttle bay." The team left with Geordi, leaving Picard and Hannibal alone.

"So what changed your mind, Captain? Why did you decide to help us."

"I have my reasons, Colonel." Picard replied vaguely. "Suffice to say I believe it important enough to take the risk and return you to your own time. To say more than that would not be wise. I would not want to chance changing our past--or your future, by divulging all that I know."

Hannibal considered the Captain's words. "Fair enough," he said finally.

"Well then, shall we adjourn to my ready room, where we can discuss this matter more seriously?"

"Certainly. I've been thinking things over a lot myself, and I'm sure it's going to all go perfectly. It'll be a piece of cake..."

* * *

"Computer, locate Lieutenant Barclay."

"Lieutenant Barclay is on Holodeck Three."

"I figured as much." Geordi led B.A., Amy and Face out of the turbo-lift. "Come on, this way."

"What's a holodeck?" Face asked.

"It's a...well...a special 'recreation' area, of sorts, on the ship. Kind of difficult to describe. It's designed for very involved, computer generated 'virtual realities,' if you want to think of it that way. You can program the holodeck computers to create different situations and people to interact with as you wish. And some crew members can be very, um, creative in their programming." Geordi walked up to a door and pressed a few buttons on the nearby wall panel. "Be prepared for just about anything," he warned as the door slid open...

...And the four of them walked into the middle of a dense tropical jungle. The Team members looked around, astonished, as bright colorful birds flew over their heads and the humid, tropical heat began to bear down on them.

"Unbelievable!" Amy exclaimed. "You mean, none of this is real? It sure looks and feels real."

"Well, in a sense I suppose it is real," Geordi explained as they made their way through the foliage, looking for Barclay and Murdock. "I mean, it's certainly real enough to those who are on the deck and experiencing it, but none of this can exist outside of this room. It's really all just tractor beams, holographic illusions, specially formed matter, that's all."

"Man, what's that crazy fool up to in here anyway?" B.A. grumbled. They could hear some sort of approaching commotion, and many loud voices raised in anger, but there was no sign of the engineer or the pilot.

"Sounds like the natives are getting restless," Amy remarked.

"Do you hear that music?" Geordi asked. The others listened carefully and, sure enough, the familiar strains of a particular John Williams orchestral score could be heard emanating from some unseen source overhead.

"Oh no..." Face groaned once he identified the music. Amy, B.A. and Geordi looked at him. "I think I get it now. Look out everyone, it's the return of Pasadena Murdock and the Raiders of the Lost Mind!"

As if in response to the summons, a Tarzan-like call sounded above their heads and suddenly Murdock appeared swinging from a vine through the trees.

"Follow me, Barclay! And hurry, if we don't make it to the river bank before nightfall we're doomed!" Murdock called as he landed in the next tree.

"You're gonna be doomed if you don't get down here now, fool!" B.A. yelled. Murdock looked down and spotted the group.

"Hey guys!" He responded cheerfully, hopping down out of the tree while carefully clutching his precious felt fedora. "Hey Reg! We've got company!" He shouted into the jungle, then turned back to the others. "Isn't this just the greatest? Say, you all wanna help us take on the angry Wasabi warriors?"

Barclay came running through the underbrush, panting heavily. "I--I think we've lost them, Pasadena!" He looked up surprised when he saw the others standing there. "Oh! Er, hi Geordi, I was...um, just showing Murdock around, you know...I...well, um he said he wanted to see the holodecks."

"And I'm telling you, man, if we only had one of these back at the V.A.! Talk about the perfect way to work out all those pent-up anxieties and frustrations. What this wouldn't do for psychotherapy as we know it today..." Murdock finished wistfully.

"That's great Murdock, I'm glad you're having such a wonderful time out here in La-la-land. But do you think you could stop by the real world for a while and give us a hand?" Face asked impatiently. "We have a lot of work to do if we're gonna get back home. And you need to learn how to fly a shuttle craft."

"I can fly anything, Face-guy."

"That's what we're counting on, Murdock."

"Okey-dokey. Just one sec--" Murdock turned around and whistled. "C'mon Billy! Come here boy!"

A large white and gray sheepdog came bounding out through the jungle. Even considering their current surroundings, B.A., Amy and Face were still caught completely off guard by this sight. The large dog ran straight for the dumbfounded B.A., jumping up at him, barking loudly, his tail wagging happily.

Murdock smiled. "See B.A.? I always told you Billy liked you."

"Get this thing off me man! This ain't happenin'! This ain't for real! No way! No way!" the terrified B.A. yelled.

"Computer, end program," Barclay called, and immediately the jungle surroundings vanished. B.A. was much relieved as Billy returned to his normal invisible and silent form.

"All right everyone, let's get moving, see what we can pull together," Geordi said. "Barclay, why don't you come along too, I could use the help of one of my engineers."

"Sure thing Geordi," Barclay replied with a grin, as he and Murdock marched out in a perfectly matching stride.

"Those two are really starting to scare me," Amy said.

Face raised his eyebrows. "Only starting?"


	5. Moving Targets

Several hours had passed by, and Picard and Hannibal headed down to the shuttle bay to see how the work was progressing on the team's escape ship.

"In eight hours we will leave the Myranji system and enter warp, after which it will take us fourteen hours to reach the Cardassian system. This will leave a little under an hour until the collapse of the rift. Hopefully enough time to send you and your men home, without leaving the Cardassians enough time to figure out how to use the rift themselves," Picard explained. "If they haven't discovered that already."

"Hopefully."

"Yes, hopefully."

They entered the shuttle bay to much noise and commotion. One familiar angry voice could be heard most distinctly above all the others.

"Listen sucker, don't tell me what will or won't work! Just cause you ain't never seen no one mount a laser cannon like that before don't mean it can't be done!"

"Erm, I think they call them phaser guns, B.A."

"Grrrr..."

"Sounds like things are going pretty well," Hannibal commented.

The Colonel and Picard walked past a large stack of crates and finally the "modified" shuttle craft came into their full view.

Picard caught his breath in surprise. "Oh my..."

"Beautiful!" Hannibal exclaimed. "B.A., you've really outdone yourself this time."

"Thanks Hannibal." B.A. put down his power drill for a moment to step back and admire the craft himself. "Good thing I'd been carryin' some of my tools with me, otherwise I never coulda done it with these fools' equipment. See, first we took some sheet metal off from the wrecked plane to add some defensive plating. Now I'm workin' on the weapons. Then I want to have a go at the engines, maybe add some nitro-injectors or somethin'. I think I can get this thing runnin' least two times as fast as they say it'll go."

"Nitro-injectors?!" A rather exasperated looking Geordi joined them. "I really don't think..." B.A. shot him a menacing scowl and he backed away. "Well, sure, why not." Geordi looked to Picard. "The Sergeant here certainly has a most unorthodox eye for design and mechanics, I'll say that much."

"As long as this thing will get us home tomorrow." Hannibal said.

"Don't worry, man. By tomorrow this thing is gonna be a masterpiece!" B.A. remarked confidently.

"Hey B.A., how's this?" Amy and Barclay came over, dragging a large, thick metal pipe. "We found it on a scrap heap down in one of the cargo bays."

"Perfect! Just leave it over there." B.A. motioned towards a pile of explosives. "Gonna build a sub-space grenade launcher," he explained to Picard and Hannibal.

Hannibal nodded. "Good idea. Say, where's Murdock?"

"Currently about eight feet behind you, Colonel." Hannibal turned around to see Murdock entering with a young ensign who had a most terrified expression on his face. "Just been out cruisin' the big vast nothingness of the universe with Wesley here in one of the other shuttles, gettin' my space wings, you know."

"Flight training going well then, I assume?" Picard asked Wesley.

"Ummm...ah...f-f-fine c-Captain sir, j-just fine," Wesley stammered.

"Shoot, that thing practically flies itself! For a skilled professional such as myself it's no-problem-o!" Murdock boasted.

"Good, then you can stay down here now and help us finish this work!" B.A. grabbed Murdock by the collar of his jacket and pulled the protesting pilot away.

Wesley looked up at Picard with a pleading look in his eyes. "P-please Captain, don't make me go out flying with him again! He--he's crazy! Totally psycho! As soon as I gave him control of the shuttle, he starts in at maximum impulse towards the asteroid belt just past Myranji III, babbling something about some stupid old Earth video game. I swear, I thought we were dead for sure!"

"Ah, things are going great, aren't they?" Hannibal grinned and took out a fresh cigar.

* * *

"Captain, we are approaching the Cardassian border. If we continue at Warp Seven we will be within the Garduval star system in twelve minutes."

"Very good, Commander Data. Any signs of Cardassian activity yet?"

"No sir. It appears that our approach has not yet been detected."

Hannibal, B.A., Face, and Amy had joined the officers on the bridge to prepare for the possible confrontation with the Cardassians. The previous evening had been a quiet one; after B.A. had finished up his work on the shuttle craft with the rest of the team, there was not much left to do but wait and try to relax.

"Maybe we won't have to worry about the Cardassians after all," Hannibal suggested to Picard. "You told me last night that this was a very old Cardassian system, the planets mostly uninhabitable and used only for strip-mining. Maybe they've abandoned it."

"The Cardassians abandon nothing, Colonel Smith. Even if it was completely useless territory, it is territory nevertheless."

The crew waited and watched anxiously for any signs of activity, but all sensors remained silent.

"We are entering Cardassian space, Captain," Data reported a few minutes later. "Dropping down to impulse power...in six minutes we will approach Garduval Five, the outermost planet in the system and the predicted location of the portal."

"Fine. Continue on our present course," Picard said, pulling uncomfortably at the collar of his uniform. It all seemed just too quiet to him, too easy...

His suspicions were confirmed moments later.

"Captain, a squadron of Cardassian border patrol ships has just dropped out of warp near Garduval Five. They are hailing us, sir."

"OK, Captain, time to let us take over for awhile," Hannibal said. "You and the other senior officers get out of sight, I only want the Cardassians to see me and my team up here."

"Very well," Picard said, relinquishing his command chair to Hannibal, albeit rather hesitantly. "I do hope that you know what you're doing, Colonel Smith."

"You're not the only one," Riker added as gave up his chair and joined Picard off on the far left-side of the bridge. B.A. came up to stand directly behind Hannibal, his arms crossed defiantly, while Face took Riker's position and Amy took Troi's.

"Relax, Captain," Hannibal said, settling in and lighting up a cigar.

"Sure, take it easy," Face added with an unconvincing smile. "I mean, what could possibly go wrong?"

"Please stop saying that!" Amy cried. "Just remember what happened the last time..."

"The Cardassians are demanding a response, sir," Data said.

"All right, we're ready, aren't we guys?" Hannibal looked around to make sure everyone was in position. "Put 'em up on screen, Data."

The face of an angry Cardassian officer appeared on the view screen before them. "Federation ship, you are inside Cardassian space. Turn around and leave this system now or we will be forced to attack."

"Sorry, pal, but we're not leaving, at least not until we've cruised 'round this system for a while," Hannibal responded coolly. "See, we paid for the package tour of this sector, and I don't want to miss any of the sights."

"Your presence here is in direct violation of the Cardassian-Federation Peace Treaty!" The Cardassian officer insisted. "Leave now or your uninvited presence will be considered an act of war."

Hannibal shrugged. "I apologize that we didn't R.S.V.P., but since we're not a Federation ship I could care less about your peace treaty."

"Liar! Your ship is clearly a Federation model and bears Federation insignia!"

"Yes, but we're not Federation officers. We're not even Federation citizens," Hannibal replied.

This situation was all becoming too confusing to the Cardassian. It was true, none of the men he could see were in Federation uniform, and there was a strange looking humanoid standing behind the Captain of the vessel of a species the Cardassian had never seen before. "Well then just who are you?!"

"We're the A-Team, fool!" B.A. said. "And there ain't nobody who's gonna get in our way."

"We commandeered this ship from it's Federation crew," Hannibal explained. "Our ship was in the shop, but we couldn't miss opening night screening of 'Boots and Bikinis' on Melmac Nine for anything."

The Cardassian had had more than enough of this conversation. "Very well, whoever you really are, if you insist on maintaining this course we have no choice but to destroy you and your vessel. Consider yourself warned." The view screen went dark as the Cardassian cut off communication.

Hannibal turned to look across at Picard and grinned. "Well, I thought he took it rather well, didn't you?"

"Captain, we have reached Garduval Five, and the squadron of patrol ships are approaching in an attack formation," Data observed.

"All right Picard, it's your show now." Hannibal got up from the command chair. "Keep those ships occupied as much as possible, we're heading out." Hannibal tapped on the communicator he had been given. "Murdock, this is Hannibal, get ready 'cause we're on our way down."

"You got it Colonel! This bird's ready to hit the skies," came Murdock's reply.

"Good luck, Colonel Smith," Picard said as he walked towards Hannibal. "I hope the portal is there and that you make it home safely. We will what we can to help you get there." Picard looked to the rest of the team. "Good luck to all of you."

"Thanks, Captain. And thanks for trusting us. Come on guys, we don't want to miss the party," Hannibal said, heading towards the exit. Amy and Face followed him, with B.A. taking up the rear. Worf stood at the door, watching them pass, his standard scowl of disgust firmly in place. B.A. and Worf took advantage of this one last chance to size each other up and glared at each other for a while.

"Let's go Sergeant!" Hannibal called from down the corridor.

"Comin'," B.A. replied, still eyeing Worf. He turned to leave but took one last look back at the security officer, and he nodded his head in approval. "Stay cool, brother," he said. Then he gave Worf a quick wink and a smile and turned back to follow his leader.

* * *

Meanwhile, down in Shuttle Bay Two, Murdock and Barclay were saying their final farewells.

"You absolutely sure now that you don't wanna come along with us, Reg? I mean, we could always use an extra hand, and you 'n me could have tons of fun together at the V.A. I keep tellin' them I have multiple personalities--maybe they'd finally believe me!"

"Thanks for the offer, Murdock, but I'm sure. I know that this is where I belong, even...even if it doesn't always feel that way."

"Yeah, OK, I understand, Reg. You're right. But you're gonna miss one heck of trip!"

"You sure you can do this, Murdock?" Barclay asked, worried about his new friend and his companions. "Once the Cardassians spot you guys in the shuttle, they're not going to let you slip through easily."

"Hey, if they made it easy, it wouldn't be any fun, would it?" Murdock said with a smile. The thought of getting in a little aerial combat had him flying high on the jazz already. "Besides, you're talkin' to the master here. You know they don't call me Howlin' Mad for nothin'--once I get in the air anyone would have to be as nuts as I am to try to get in my way!"

The door to the shuttle bay opened, but instead of the Team, the man in the bathrobe that was at Ten-Forward the other night came in.

"Hello, I'm Arthur Dent," the man said politely and with a rather strong British accent. "I've been informed that you're planning on heading back to twentieth-century Earth. I've been trying to get there myself for a long time--would you mind terribly giving me a lift?"

"Hey sure, why not," Murdock replied. "The more the merrier!"

"Splendid! Splendid!" Arthur said happily. "I've been puttering about this silly galaxy long enough. Why, for a while there I was under the impression that the Earth wasn't even around anymore. All this bloody cross-universal travel can be incredibly confusing."

Murdock nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I know how that can be. I hate it when I wake up and don't remember what universe I'm in. Just the worst way to start the day..."

The shuttle bay door opened again, and this time the Team came in as expected. "Time to take off, Captain," Hannibal called, and the he stopped and took a puzzled look at Arthur. "Who's this guy?"

"I'm just a hitchhiker," Arthur replied.

"He needs to get back to Earth, Hannibal, just like us. I said he could tag along."

"Oh, OK. Well then, lets get going!" Hannibal entered the shuttle, followed by Arthur, Amy and Face.

B.A. hesitated for a moment, obviously not looking forward to the flight ahead of them. "I don't like this man. I really don't like this..." he muttered as he forced himself to enter the shuttle.

"Well, guess I'll catch you on the flipside Reg!" Murdock grabbed Barclay in a big bear-hug.

"Tare care--and good luck Murdock," Barclay said.

"You too, amigo." Murdock released him and headed towards the shuttle himself.

"Say, Murdock, one last thing," Barclay called. Murdock stopped and turned around. "Are you really crazy?"

Murdock looked back with a serious expression on his face. "You know Reg, some of the finest medical minds of my time have debated that question for years..." He paused, and suddenly switched into an wicked smile. "You think I know the answer?"

* * *

Murdock hopped into the pilot's seat of the shuttle. Hannibal sat to his right, looking over the various display screens and buttons before them, completely bewildered. "Do you really understand how to operate this thing Murdock?"

"Of course, Colonel!" Murdock replied defensively, glancing over the control panels quickly himself. "Now if I could just find the 'On' switch...Billy, do you remember where it is?"

B.A., who was seated right behind Murdock, reached forward and placed an incredibly strong grip on the captain's shoulder. "Listen, Murdock, you better quit actin' like a fool and playin' your crazy games or I'm gonna knock you and your stupid invisible dog right through this window, and then I'm REALLY gonna hurt you! Now get us out of here and fly us home so I can get out of this ship as soon as possible! And if you start in with your crazy aerobatics out there--"

"B.A. if you don't let go of me I'm gonna lose all circulation in the right side of my body and then I'll never be able to fly this thing!" Murdock screeched, struggling to get out from under B.A.'s grasp. After thinking it over for a minute and with Amy and Face both trying to pull him off of the pilot, B.A. finally released Murdock and sat back uneasily.

"Geez, some people have no sense of humor," Murdock griped, rubbing his sore shoulder. "Ah, here we go!" He pressed a few buttons and typed in some commands on the control screen, and the shuttle's engines suddenly came to life. Murdock tapped on his communicator. "Captain Picard, we're ready to roll down here."

"Acknowledged, Captain. The shuttle bay doors will be released momentarily. We'll try to keep the Cardassians occupied while you make your escape. Good luck."

"Thanks, compadre, over and out."

A few moments later the air-lock doors before them opened to reveal the dark star-filled sky before them.

"All right boys and girls, fasten your safety belts and hold on tight, we're gonna set the controls for the heart of the sun!" Murdock cried as he sent the spacecraft rocketing out of the shuttle bay and they swung out from around the rear of the Enterprise. He set a quick course for the planet beneath them and they sped towards it at full impulse power.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhooooooo! This baby better have anti-lock brakes or we're gonna be in trouble!" Murdock swerved the ship at a stomach-turning angle to avoid a phaser blast that shot past them. There was a Cardassian ship right on their tail already.

"Looks like it didn't take them long to spot us," Amy said.

"No sir-eee, time to put a little extra distance between us and them," Murdock activated one of B.A.'s nitro-injectors. The shuttle's passengers were all forced back into their seats by the rapid increase in their velocity.

"Ooooh...." Face groaned, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to watch what was happening. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Hannibal, you're in charge of the main weapons, the controls are hooked up in front of you," Murdock said quickly. "Watch that radar-type screen, anything's right behind us you can get it with the rear phaser cannon. That sucker's been hypercharged by B.A., so it should cut through the patroller's shields in just a few bursts. Anything below or above us, use the grenade launcher, that's what the joy-stick-thingy is for. Got it?"

"Got it." Hannibal said, looking over the setup and getting prepared for any action. He took a final deep puff on his cigar and then snuffed it out so that he could fully focus his attention on the impending battle.

They had managed to get away from the first patrol ship, but the nitro-burst was wearing off and Murdock spied three more ships approaching from in front of them.

"Hey B.A. how many more of those nitros did you hook up?" Murdock asked. There was no response. "B.A.?"

"I don't think your friend B.A. is doing so well," Arthur remarked from the back. Murdock took a quick glance around to see the Sergeant sitting frozen in place, his eyes glazed over in fear.

"Hmmph. Typical. Oh well, guess I'll just have to trust in the force to let me know when we've run out. Uh-oh, heads up!" The shuttle lurched violently again as Murdock tried to avoid an incoming barrage of phaser blasts from the patrol ships. Suddenly two of them exploded as a powerful phaser beam that must have come from the Enterprise struck them.

"Hah! Thanks Picard," Hannibal laughed. "Looks like he's holding to his word all right."

"I've got the last one," Murdock said, targeting the forward super-powered phasers B.A. had arranged. As the wreckage from the two exploded ships began to clear and the third ship came into view again, Murdock fired before the patrol ship had a chance to respond in kind. Apparently its shields had been damaged in the preceding explosion, for it went up in a burst as soon as the phasers hit it.

"Oh momma, we're kickin' now!" said Murdock, as the shuttle peeled away from the approaching debris and they drew closer to the Cardassian planet. "We're gonna hit this rock's atmosphere soon, let's hope the portal's waiting on the dark side of the moon."

"Not the rhyming again, Murdock, please?" Face complained. "This is not exactly the time for it."

"Sorry Faceman, but you gotta go with the flow...and right now the flow says to hang a hard left." The shuttle's course changed accordingly, but not before getting rocked by a violent blast.

Amy held tight to her seat. "More of them? Already?"

Hannibal studied the viewscreen. "Two of them this time, comin' in from behind."

"Shields down to seventy-percent," Murdock reported, trying to keep up an evasive flight pattern as they continued to be bombarded by phaser blasts. "I'm goin' nitro again."

"Hold on one minute--" Hannibal said, following the ships on his screen, and firing off the rear phasers. One of the ships swerved away unharmed, but the other took a hard hit to its wing and dropped away before Hannibal could finish it off.

"Now Murdock!" Hannibal yelled, and was immediately jerked back in his seat as the shuttle roared away. They lost the remaining patrol ship and drew closer to the surface of the planet.

"Doesn't look like too hospitable a place, does it?" Hannibal observed as the features of the mostly brown and gray world beneath them became clearer.

"Uh-uh, they must have mined this place dry..." agreed Murdock as they continued their descent. They were now cruising along a few thousand feet above a range of jagged mountains and deep canyons. "At this speed we're about five minutes away from where the portal's supposed be. So say your prayers everyone."

"Let's hope that was the last of the patrol ships," Face said, but his remark was immediately followed by a large explosion to their right. Someone had fired at them but hit one of the mountain peaks instead.

"Man, where'd these guys come from?" Murdock complained, swooping down lower to avoid the incoming phaser beams. "We've got four of 'em coming in now! Shields down to forty-percent."

"I think they must've been on the ground, there's probably a Cardassian base down there somewhere," Hannibal said, watching to see if he could get in a clear shot. One of the ships was coming at them from above, and Hannibal aimed the grenade launcher at it. He managed to hit it hard once, sending it flying off in a spiral of smoke.

"Lemme try nitro again, might be just what we need to get to the portal," Murdock said, but he got no response from the nitro-controller. "Oh well, guess that mudsucker only set up two nitros, time to go to plan B."

"What's plan B?" Amy asked, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"This be plan B, sweetheart," Murdock replied, as he plunged the shuttle downward towards the imposing terrain below, still going at a maniacal speed as he swerved the shuttle in between the mountain tops. "Catch me if you can, suckers!"

The three remaining ships continued their pursuit and managed to keep up with Murdock's maneuvers.

"I say, this is rather exciting," commented Arthur. "Better than an evening at Milliway's by far!"

"I can't get in a clear shot," Hannibal complained, going back to working the rear phasers.

"Well, neither can they, so that evens things out nicely, doesn't it?" Murdock responded. "Hang on, I'm gonna try to lose these buggers for good." With that remark he plunged the shuttle down into a long but very narrow ravine. As they sped around a slight bend in the course of the ravine, one of the patrol ships got too close to the outside edge and went up in a ball of flames.

"One down, two to go!" Murdock reported triumphantly.

"How much longer till we reach the portal?" Face asked.

"'Bout a minute, should be just over that plateau up ahead," Murdock said, and the ship rocked slightly as they just barely missed another round of phaser blasts.

"Dang, shields at twenty-five percent. Come on baby, hold together just a little bit longer..."

The ravine was narrowing quickly, and one of the remaining ships behind them missed a quick turn and flew straight into the canyon wall.

Murdock flinched. "Ouch, that had to hurt." The ravine was beginning to get too narrow, even for his tastes. "OK, up we go, should be right on the portal any time now anyway."

He pulled the ship up and out of the ravine in a steep vertical climb, then turned and began to head towards the plateau.

Amy was watching intently for signs of the portal. The sky above them was overcast and gray, but did not appear particularly unusual or threatening. "I don't see anything yet, maybe there really isn't a portal." Suddenly there was a flash of familiar blue-green lighting from behind the approaching rockface. "I stand corrected."

"All right! We're almost home now, mes amis." Murdock started to swing the shuttle to the right to come around the side of the plateau. "Now if we could just lose that last ship, we don't want to bring any unwelcome guests back to Earth, do we?" The Cardassian patroller was still determined to shoot them down and was closing the distance between them fast.

"That baby's mine, soon as I get a clear shot..." Hannibal fixed all attention on the approaching vessel, which made the mistake of focusing too intently on trying to shoot down the shuttle and not enough on keeping up an evasive flight pattern. Hannibal let loose on the phasers and the barrage was too much for the patrol ship's shields to handle. It took a bad hit to its right wing and went spinning out to a particularly ungraceful landing.

"Strike three, yer out!" hollered Murdock, and just as they pulled around to the far side of the plateau there was a blinding flash of light as the shuttle was pulled into the spatial rift...

...And the next thing they knew, they were soaring through clear blue skies and over turquoise waters.

"We did it! We're home!" Amy cried happily.

"Man, I don't think I've ever seen a prettier sight," said Murdock, as a piece of land that could only be the tip of the Florida coast came into view on the horizon.

"Yeah, it's great isn't it?" Hannibal sighed. "Don't you just love it..."

"...When a plan comes together?" Face, Amy, and Murdock finished for the Colonel, and they all laughed.


	6. Curtain Call

It was a beautiful day on the Florida coast, and the A-Team was out taking in a well-earned holiday, lounging around the pool at the Miami Regency. Murdock was playing fetch with Billy down on the beach, and Arthur Dent was waiting for his afternoon flight out to London.

"Thank you again for taking me along," Arthur said to Hannibal. "I can't tell you how nice it will be to get home after all of this craziness."

"You're not the only one looking forward to gettin' home," B.A. said. "It's O.K. here but I can't wait to see my van, make sure it's all right."

"We'll be home soon enough, B.A.," Hannibal reassured him. "Of course if you'd fly back to L.A. with the rest of us you could get home all that much faster."

"I ain't flyin'," B.A. insisted. "I'm taking the train. I've had enough flyin' to last me a lifetime, man, no more."

"Sure, B.A., whatever you say," Hannibal responded, pulling out the last of the Talarian cigars he'd brought with him from the Enterprise.

"Boy I'm glad that's over," Face sighed. "I feel like I've just spent the last few days stuck in one of Murdock's hallucinations."

"You gotta admit, Face, it was an amazing experience," Amy said. "I mean, it's not everyone who gets to see firsthand what the future is going to be like. I for one feel truly lucky."

"Me too," Hannibal agreed. "It sure was interesting. I wonder if we'll ever see Picard and those other guys again."

"Again? But how? We already ditched the shuttle craft at that movie lot and made sure it wasn't operable anymore. Are you expecting to get sucked through another space/time anomaly sometime soon?" Face asked. "Cause if you are, count me out on that trip, would you Hannibal? I think I'll stick to planet Earth for a while."

"We'll see Lieutenant, we'll see..."

* * *

"Well I guess that just about wraps things up for us tonight. We sure caught that little power cross-linkage problem before it sent the computer system haywire, didn't we Reg? Hey Reg...?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, we sure did Geordi."

Geordi eyed Barclay, feeling a bit concerned. "Uh, Reg, are you OK? Ever since those guys from the past left, you've seemed a little, um, distracted."

"I'm sorry Geordi. I guess...well, the whole thing, it was just a rather...disorienting experience."

"You mean, with that guy Murdock and all? Yeah, that was pretty weird. He was pretty weird. I'm just glad that crazy plan of theirs worked out all right, and that Captain Picard was able to smooth out all the ruffled feathers afterwards. I can't believe the Cardassians bought that story about space hijackers."

"Er...yeah, right. Guess we were pretty lucky. Well, if we're all done here I think I'll be going. I have an...ah, appointment I need to keep."

"Sure Reg, see you tomorrow," Geordi said as Barclay hurried out the door. Probably rushing off for another therapy session with Troi, Geordi thought to himself. The poor guy, having a spitting image of himself showing up that turns out to be a certified lunatic...

Barclay headed down the corridor, deep in thought. Meeting Murdock had been quite an experience all right. It was funny how different, yet in so many ways how much alike they had been. Murdock didn't care much for reality, and a lot of the time Barclay didn't either; they just had different ways of dealing with it. And maybe escaping from reality on occasion wasn't that bad after all, as long as you remembered to come back to it when you had to, when you were needed. That's why the A-Team put up with Murdock's craziness, Barclay figured, because they knew they could still count on him in a pinch to be there. "You gotta go with your unit," Murdock had told him, that's what mattered above everything else.

But it wasn't Murdock's craziness that was bothering Barclay that evening. It was the strange conversation they'd had the night before the team had left. Murdock and Barclay were out on the holodeck in one of Barclay's favorite new programs, lying on a grassy hilltop watching large puffy clouds drift by. Billy ran around them in circles, chasing after a colorful butterfly.

"Gee, this place is swell, Reg. Reminds me a lot of the grounds around the V.A., 'cept without all the orderlies runnin' around and gettin' in the way all the time. Say, what does that cloud look like to you?"

"Ummm...it looks like...sorta like a...Romulan warbird to me."

"Really? Never seen one of those. I thought it looked like a big old trash bag. I like trash bags, but I haven't seen a single one on this whole ship. What a shame..." Murdock trailed off and fell silent for a while. "You know Reg, I had an interesting conversation with that Vorlon fellow earlier today."

"A conversation with the Vorlon?" Barclay didn't know much about the mysterious Vorlons. Nobody did. But one thing for sure was they certainly weren't known for their conversational skills. "I thought they barely talked much at all!"

"Well, they don't, at least not on an audio frequency our human ears can pick up. But Billy understood him just fine and translated for me."

"Oh."

"Yup. Strange things are happening, Reg, very strange...but very important. Make sure to stay close to the Vorlon. I wish I could tell you more right now...but I think you'll understand soon enough."

Murdock was quiet again for a while, apparently lost in thought, and Barclay looked at him curiously. Then the pilot suddenly sat up and reached inside one of the pockets on his jacket. "Here, I have something to give you before I leave." He pulled out a long but very thin, tattered gray scarf. He clutched it tightly in his hand, gazing at it, and a strange expression came across his face as if he was remembering some long forgotten and none too pleasant encounter--or perhaps seeing a terrible vision of things yet to come. Before Barclay could say anything about the dark mood that seemed to have descended upon Murdock, the Captain looked away from the scarf and gave Barclay one of his trademark goofy grins.

"Here--" Murdock tossed the scarf to Barclay. "You might it need it sometime. I hear it can get awfully cold out in space...especially in the shadows."

Whether Murdock had been serious about something or had just been off on one of his crazy ramblings that evening, Barclay couldn't tell. But he had an uneasy feeling that whichever was the case, he would find out soon enough.

"Computer, begin Barclay program number ten," he called as he entered the holodeck. A moment later a familiar figure in an old leather jacket and blue baseball cap materialized in front of him.

"Hey, Reg buddy! How ya doin'? Me 'n Billy here were startin' to get worried here, thought maybe you'd forgotten our appointment."

"Not likely, Murdock. So, where are we off to this evening?"

"Hmm, well, I was thinkin' we could snag a pair of X-wings and take on a Death Star or two. Either that, or I've got a friend who's a Lieutenant on a Battlestar, says they could always use help dealin' with some nasty critters called Cylons."

"Sounds good to me," Barclay replied, bending over to pet Billy who was dancing excitedly around him. "You lead the way Captain."

"Very well, Lieutenant," Murdock said, giving Barclay an elaborate salute. "Computer, this is your Captain speaking. Engage!"

** The End **


End file.
